Coaching Over Control: A Better Way to Lead Your Ministry
How Executive Directors Can Build Teams That Reflect the Kingdom
By David Sena | BoldLeading.com
"Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up."
Ecclesiastes 4:9–10
When You Have a God-Sized Dream, You Need a God-Sized Solution
If you're leading a ministry that seeks to serve the vulnerable, share the gospel, or create lasting transformation, then you’ve likely felt this truth:
The vision is too big to do alone.
In nearly 30 years of ministry—preaching, pastoring, leading nonprofits, and consulting—I’ve seen one consistent reality:
God recruits people to do His greatest work. He sends diverse, sometimes unlikely people to carry out work that is holy, hard, and entirely beyond human strength alone.
Why Teams Matter More Than Control
I preached at a Spanish mission church led by a missionary to the U.S.—from Mexico. At the same time, my family was friends with a missionary from North Dakota (my home state) who was serving in Mexico.
I used to wonder: Why wouldn't God just let people minister in their own hometowns and save on travel?
But I’ve learned this: God often sends people you least expect to make the biggest impact.
In my first homeless ministry, we invited shelter guests to attend our annual fundraising Gala. Some assumed the volunteers and donors must be paid to be kind. But the room was full of people who gave of their time and treasure freely—because of Jesus.
Ministry happens in community.
Not just between staff and clients, but among the leaders, board members, volunteers, and partners God sends your way.
But here’s something I’ve learned the hard way:
The fastest way to blow up the team God is sending you is to try to control them—or to control what only God can do.
When we try to manage every outcome, fix every flaw, or push people into our mold, we miss the beauty of how God uniquely equips His people. Control doesn't build trust; it breaks it. It frustrates the very people you're called to love, serve, and lead.
Ministry leadership isn’t about perfect performance—it’s about faithful presence. Your job isn't to orchestrate every move. It's to love your people well and coach them with grace when needed. That’s how you create space for them to grow, shine, and follow Christ with you.
The Problem with Control-Based Leadership
It’s tempting to lead through control when:
You feel the pressure to perform
Your board is watching
The budget is tight
A staff member drops the ball
You're afraid of failing publicly
But Scripture reminds us: we’ve been rescued from that way of thinking.
“He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves.” —Colossians 1:13
That means: You’ve been rescued from fear-based leadership. You’ve been transferred into a kingdom led by grace, truth, and love.
So here’s the better way: coach, don’t control. Let God work through the people he is sending you. Yes coach when needed but rely on God’s generosity and providence.
Five Ways to Coach the Team God Has Sent You
Whether your team is thriving or just surviving, here are five biblical and practical ways to shift from control to Christlike coaching:
Welcome unique contributions.
God sent you a team with different gifts, perspectives, and life experiences.
Coach people to build systems, not just execute tasks.
Micromanagement kills creativity and confidence. Show your team how to think, not just what to do.
Affirm shared language and culture.
Develop internal phrases that reinforce values and remind people they belong.
Celebrate wins together.
Acknowledge every step forward. Celebration fuels momentum and team morale.
Coach mistakes with grace and purpose.
Coaching corrects and encourages.
Important Note: Don’t Be the Center of Attention
If you’re constantly in the spotlight, your team can’t shine.
Shift the focus. Elevate others.
Ministry isn’t about proving your strength—it’s about pointing to Christ’s.
True leadership is about giving people room to rise. Your job is not to be the hero, but to help your team reflect the Hero.
Final Encouragement
You don’t need to have all the answers. You don’t need to do it all yourself. You don’t need to control every outcome.
You’ve been rescued. You’ve been invited into the Kingdom. You’ve been entrusted with people.
So lead them well. Coach with courage. Reflect Christ. And never forget: you’re not alone in this work.
“In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.” —John 1:4
About Bold Leading
Bold Leading supports nonprofit leaders in building sustainable ministries that advance Kingdom work. We help faith-driven organizations:
Develop strategy.
Improve fundraising.
Strengthen branding and communications.
Visit us at boldleading.com to learn more.