The Napkin That Changed My Meetings
What nonprofit executive directors can do to connect with donors.
By David Sena | BoldLeading.com
“My people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth with a parable; I will utter hidden things, things from of old.”
— Psalm 78:1–2 (NIV)
The Napkin That Changed My Meetings
I was preparing to meet with one of our largest donor. And this visit mattered.
He owned a regional grocery store chain and his company had given the largest gift they had ever made to our organization. This meeting was my first follow-up with him after receiving that stunning donation.
I remember walking into his office, seeing the large desk in front of me, and noticing his stoic expression across the room.
My nerves immediately kicked in.
I could feel my knees and even my toes trembling. My legs felt like they were shaking so obviously under the desk that I thought he might notice. My heart raced and seemed to skip beats.
What helped was the simple item I held in my hand: A napkin with four squares drawn on it.
That little grid settled me.
Instead of trying to remember all the information the marketing team and development staff had prepared for me, I focused on the four things written on that napkin.
Following the Foursquare
Using the napkin, I began by sharing with our distinguished donor what I loved about our work: our unwavering commitment to help people facing homelessness escape its grip on their lives.
Then I told him a recent story about a man whose life had begun to change from the inside out because of the help he received.
The gentleman listened carefully.
When the time came, I made an invitation for another gift.
Remarkably, he said yes.
As I stood up and reached for the doorknob to leave, I remembered the fourth square on the napkin—the “by the way” ask.
So I turned back and said,
“By the way, would your company consider sponsoring and attending our banquet in a few months?”
He smiled.
“Yep,” he said. “Count us in.”
That simple moment taught me something I’ve never forgotten:
Clarity and conviction can move mountains.
That company went on to become one of our most faithful partners, helping raise tens of thousands of dollars annually to support our work.
And it all started with four boxes on a napkin.
Why I Created the One Grid System
I didn’t create my simple grid system because I was organized. I created it because I was overwhelmed.
Early in my work meeting with donors, I would walk into conversations carrying stacks of prepared materials and messages. The marketing team gave me talking points. The development team provided background compelling documents. The program staff contributed donor profiles, statistics, and briefing notes.
In theory, I was prepared.
In reality, I was overwhelmed.
I remember sitting before meetings trying to review everything. There was so much information that I found myself getting nervous. I was flipping through papers, trying to remember key details, and at times I felt like I could barely remember my own name.
That’s when I realized something important. I didn’t need more information. I needed clarity. So I made it simple.
I drew a square on a piece of paper and divided it into four boxes.
That simple grid changed everything.
Instead of trying to remember dozens of details, I focused on four things that mattered most:
What I love about the organization.
A story that shows the mission in action.
A clear invitation for someone to engage.
A second “by the way” opportunity if the first invitation didn’t fit.
Suddenly my conversations felt natural again.
I was less nervous.
I wasn’t trying to perform or recite information.
I was sharing what mattered.
Sometimes leadership tools don’t need to be complicated.
Sometimes four boxes on a napkin can help you focus on what matters most.
The One Grid System
Before a meeting with a donor, board member, or staff leader, I draw a square and divide it into four sections.
Top Left — What do I love about this organization?
This reconnects me to the mission.
Before asking anyone to invest their time, attention, or resources, I remind myself why the work matters to me. Passion and clarity start here.
Top Right — What is a recent story that has impacted me?
Every organization has stories:
A person rebuilding their life.
A moment of hope in someone’s journey.
A quiet victory that reminds us why the work matters.
These stories helps people see the mission in action.
Bottom Left — What is the call to action?
What is one clear thing I might invite this person to do?
Support the mission financially.Volunteer.
Pray.
Make an introduction.
Clarity creates honest conversations.Bottom Right — What is the “by the way” ask?
Sometimes the first request isn’t the right fit. So I prepare a second opportunity.
If they say yes or no to the first invitation, what is another meaningful way they could engage?
An introduction.Attending an event.
Learning more about the work.
This keeps the conversation focused on relationship rather than pressure.
Why This Simple Grid Matters
The four “One Grid” questions I bring to donor meetings help me step away from the noise of running an organization, calm my mind, and bring me back to what matters most:
The mission.
The story.
The invitation.
They remind me that leadership is not about reciting information. It’s about helping people see the beautiful story God is writing through the work.
And inviting them to become part of it.
Final Word
Great nonprofit leaders don’t just manage programs.
As Jesus modeled on earth so long ago: Leaders help people see the story God is writing—and invite them to become part of it.
About Bold Leading
For more than 10 years, Bold Leading has helped nonprofit leaders develop strong teams, establish healthy principles and processes, and grow their capacity in marketing, fundraising, and strategy—so they don’t merely survive but thrive in their mission to serve and share Jesus.
If you’re ready to move forward with confidence—or could simply use a fellow leader to pray and think with—we’d love to talk with you.
Dave Sena
Dave is a Christian nonprofit leader and consultant who equips faith-based, Gospel-centered organizations to serve with excellence. As an ordained minister, former non-profit CEO, and Air Force Academy graduate with a BS in Computer Science, Dave’s passion is to help ministry leaders share the message of Jesus with clarity and confidence.
Contact: dave@boldleading.com
Visit: BoldLeading.com
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” — Hebrews 10:24 (NIV)